Not A Product Girl

10 01 2013

I am not a product girl.

I did recently invest in some fancy-pants product for Little Dude’s hair.  Holy big-bill, Adoptive Mama’s.  Apparently the first question on any adoption application should be, “Are you prepared to spend the equivalent of your child’s education fund on his/her hair product?”

It is really, really, really, really hard for me to invest $25 into a bottle of co-wash only to decide it doesn’t work that great.  On the other hand, I do like product experimentation.  I am a fan of “trial-size.”  Even better than trial-size is freebies-at-friends’-houses.  If I come to your house, I will NOT bring my own shampoo or any other hair stuff.  I will want to try yours… (free trial-size in your bathroom just waiting for me).

Here is an idea… maybe I should start knocking on the doors of our African-American neighbors and asking them if we can use their bathrooms.  Then I will quickly wash/style Little Dude’s hair while they wonder what the hell we could possible be doing in there….  Pretty sure this plan will not help us fulfill our other goals of developing more friendships with African-Americans.  Which is more important, friendships with people who look similar to my son, or how my son’s hair looks???  (Another important question for an Adoption Application perhaps?)

As I said, if I do stay at your house, I will show up empty handed when it comes to my hair, but I will be toting a big jar of “Angels on Bare Skin” by Lush. It is the only product that I am loyal to in my own beauty regime.  Please do not judge the product by the way my face looks in pictures.  I assure you, my wonderful combination of wrinkles and pimples is due to the fact that I often forget to wash my face post work-out.  What my face WOULD look like without this product… well, I don’t even want to think about it.

For those of you unfamiliar with Lush, they are a U.K. company and all of their products are made with fresh ingredients.  Unfortunately, their marketing is too hip for someone like me to understand.  And they refuse to use race or really, really specific descriptions to describe what their products are best for.  So, I recently bought an $8, teeny-tiny bottle of shampoo from them that will not do anything for Little Dude’s curls.  I have since discovered if you want to actually know if their products would be good for African curls, you need to go to the Customer Review part of their website (exhausting) or get a copy of their newspaper style catalog.  (Too much work for this Mama.  However, I can assure you, I did muster up the energy to send them a complaint email with some helpful suggestions for ways they could improve their marketing materials.  You are welcome, Lush executives, er, um, team-members.)

Despite being worn-out by Lush’s hip marketing, last week I decided to do my quarterly clean out of my shower.  Yup, four times a year, no matter how tired I feel, I muster the energy to throw away the dull razors, empty shampoo bottles and slivers of nasty soap that have accumulated in my bathroom.  When I am done, I feel like a super-organized, domestic goddess.

shelf

When I was clearing off my shelf, I was going to toss my empty “jar” (actually a cardboard canister because Lush loves the rain-forest) of Angels on Bare Skin.

two jars

You know the empty container that I was using to hold up the new, full container?  And then I realized, I just couldn’t do it.  I would miss Anthony too much.

Who is Anthony?  Well, another part of Lush’s pretentious enlightened corporate culture is that any product you purchase is adorned by a sticker featuring a portrait of the employee (who I am sure they refer to as a team-member) who made/packaged it.

For about six months I have been showering with a photo of Anthony.  And, what can I say?  Anthony really knows how to make a great skin cleanser.  Anthony inspires me.

this anthony

My newest jar of product was made/packaged by Leanna.  No disrespect to Leanna… she seems to be equally skilled in making product.  But somehow, she just doesn’t inspire me the way Anthony does.

this Leanne

Disclosure:  This post was not sponsored by Lush or by Anthony’s mother, although I am sure she is very proud of him.

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15 responses

10 01 2013
2plus2mom

I was just thinking the other day that us adoptive mamas should start an exchange program where we trade our “tried-it-and-it-didn’t-work-for-us” hair products. I have at least 20 bottles of stuff that wasn’t right for us, but I can’t bear to just throw it all away.

13 01 2013
Scooping it up

That does exist on FB, actually.

10 01 2013
zehlahlum

Oyin Handmade!!! I don’t use all their products all the time, but I’ve never used one that I didn’t like. They are waaaaaay better priced than most anything else out there. Also, they have all their stuff available in trial sizes. :) You’re welcome.

11 01 2013
Casa Bicicleta

Anthony needs a shave.

11 01 2013
semi-feral mama

Well he has been in my shower for about six months. He has had plenty of opportunities to grab a rusty, dull razor and have at it.

14 01 2013
Casa Bicicleta

yeah, cuz that would be fun in an edgy, dangerous sort of way.

11 01 2013
Christine

Cut Anthony loose. What has he done for you lately?

11 01 2013
semi-feral mama

Anthony makes me smile in the morning. He never talks back. He has never asked me why my bum is so big – something Little Dude did when he was in the shower with me. Anthony just looks at me in all my glory with that shy appreciative smile. Everybody needs an Anthony. I think you might be jealous.

13 01 2013
christine

I’m so not jealous of you and Anthony. Whatever are you thinking?

11 01 2013
findingmagnolia

I love Anthony, and I don’t even have the intimate shower relationship with him that you have. Leanna is nice and all, but…that’s it. She’s just nice. Bo-ring! Anthony has a certain “je ne sais quois” about him. Keep him. Forever. Or at least until his cardboard container starts to sag and mildew.

12 01 2013
adoptionista

I’m with you…that stuff can be so spendy. My daughter’s hair conditioner is more than my shampoo+conditioner+body soap combined. :)

13 01 2013
eastiopians

OMG, I am dying. Anthony! Hahaha. I need a good product for my freaked out face. I wonder if Anthony can hook me up. You are totally an organized goddess. Come to my house anytime and try out my products, but please also throw away all my old crusty bottles too. Hey, you gotta earn your way around here.

15 01 2013
claudiachapman

Anthony is making me feel a little self conscious, and I’m in my pyjamas. I don’t think I could handle letting him see me naked.

15 01 2013
Semi-Feral Mama

Maybe if Anthony didn’t give such good product I would have felt the same way. But his product is great and thenI saw him for who he really is, a handsome, harmless hipster. He really is fun to be around.

16 01 2013
Meira

Who else would blog about Anthony? who else would keep Anthony? You are the goddess of blogging. And, btw, I bought some product on Amazon—from Devashan (no poo shampoo and conditioner)
—-and it works really well on my daughter’s hair and in a pinch I use in on mine (it even made my straight hair curl . . . ). $30 for a GIANT bottle.

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