Whoa to the Woe

26 10 2010

I have been feeling sorry for myself.  And I think I have a claim that my road really has been a little rough.

Take the first week in May…
Go to Ethiopia pick up son while husband moves family across country and father has two unexpected major operations.  In the meantime leave nearly 2-yr-old daughter who has never spent night away from me with sister who she has only actually met four times.

The month of June…
Live in new town with No friends, No family, No support system, shell-shocked 2-yr-old bio kid, and new to family 1-yr-old. Cat breaks toe.  Big dog bites little dog’s face makes eyeball pop out of socket.  Have to euthanize big dog for unpredictable aggressive behavior.  Have to deal with husband who was close to dog.  Have to deal with 2-yr-old who is very confused about where the dog is.  Father has more medical procedures.

Then comes July, August, September…

Unbelievable heat and humidity keeping family stuck in small rental house.  Husband’s new job nothing like we expected.  Husband not being paid what he is supposed to be paid.  No potential buyers for old house.  Giardia, scabies, ringworm-no-wait-white-piedra, hand, foot and mouth, viruses with temps of 105 degrees, ear infection, sinus infection.  Father has still more medical procedures.  Daughter is convinced that dead dog is living at our old house and wants to talk about her, often.

And now October…

The weather is better but my father was hospitalized with chest pains.  My nephew is struggling with lots of stuff that makes me worry.  My computer is dying a slow, agonizing death.  We have burned through our savings paying both rent and a mortgage and my husband’s paychecks are still 13% less than they should be.

Next up November…

Everyone says the post-adoption, six-month mark is magic.  You hit your stride and most of the serious adjustments (and diarrhea) are behind you.  And I think this is what is actually pissing me off.  Because adoption wise we are great, but life wise, well, are you sure you don’t want to buy a house in Oregon?  Conversely, are you sure you don’t have a job for me or my husband there – within commuting distance to the HOUSE WE OWN?

I miss my friends.  I miss my chiropractor.  I miss the mountains and the ocean.  I miss having a big dog.

Blah, blah, blah.

Then I look at my Facebook friends.
I have a friend whose cat has cancer.  I have a friend who’s been out of work for almost a year.  I have a friend whose uncle just had a brain aneurysm. I have a friend whose brother just had a motorcycle accident and is still fighting for his life – he has children. I have a friend with five small children whose husband was just deployed to Afghanistan. I have a friend who adopted the same time as me and is facing huge attachment challenges.  I have a friend who is younger than me who was just diagnosed with cancer – she has a baby.

So I keep telling myself to, well, get over myself.  And I will.  Probably today.  Because I just finished eating the last package of cookie dough and I have no choice.

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6 responses

26 10 2010
Jamey

Just because other people might have harder doesn’t mean that your shit isn’t hard. Hang in there!

26 10 2010
Tonggu Momma

Ditto to what Jamey said. You’ve had a really, really tough couple of months. Hang in there!

27 10 2010
Christine

Jeez. My heart goes out to you, girl. I really feel for you because I do think that is a monumental lot to handle. I’m sorry about the dog. I also miss having a big dog. I love our small one, but there is something so nice about having a big one. Hope you turn the corner very soon.

p.s. I feel like I remember that you live in the midwest now, didn’t I read that? I am from Illinois and I know the stark difference between midwest life and living near the ocean, not to mention the mountains.

27 10 2010
Shannon

Just because others have struggles/hurdles… doesn’t minimize your own. Although 6 months was a great great great point…. there are backslides and huge jumps and those are harder, so give yourself a break.

I too keep telling myself to get it together and limiting sugar is key there. Although I don’t know if reducing amount in coffee counts if I have said coffee with bag of frozen fun size snickers. hmmm?

28 10 2010
claudia

me, also, totally dittoing Jamey!

29 10 2010
Jamie

On the drive home this evening I thought of something that might help. If I ship Julio to you, then you’d have roughly 14 pounds of dog which makes a bigger dog than what you have now. Sure, 14 pounds still isn’t a big dog, but at least you’re in the double digits now. Just let me know a day you’ll be home when the mail arrives. I’d hate for Julio to have to wait on your front porch – just in case I didn’t pack enough snacks in the box with him 🙂

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