Erica Kane, Adoption Corruption, Crazy Thoughts – Fun Size

10 02 2011

A collection of things I thought about this week, brought to you in “fun size” packages (because my thoughts are not profound enough for full size or king size posts.)

Erica Kane or Your Jewish Grandma

Lately PJ has been acting like a Bubbe (Jewish Grandma) and pinching everyone’s cheeks.  She pinches out of love, sometimes, and I picture her saying, “Shana punim.”  She also pinches out of anger, spite and control (probably not what Bubbes do).

Then, the other day, she hauled off and slapped Little Dude across the face.  Ever see anyone do this in real life?  I don’t think I have.  Don’t worry, Little Miss Erica Kane got a big time-out and her favorite pink overalls taken away.  While I doubt the “real/fictional” Erica Kane ever wears pink overalls, I think punishing her by taking her favorite item of clothing would be a pretty smart parenting move.

Please understand I do not find PJ’s burgeoning violent streak charming.  I find it infuriating and frustrating and depressing which is why I am devouring discipline books and trying to establish order.  But sometimes you have to laugh through the tears.

Adoption Corruption

Better Futures Adoption Services (BFAS) an agency operating in Ethiopia has been officially closed down.  There are kids left in limbo because of this situation, which is tragic.  However, it is shocking to me that this agency had any clients at all when their reputation as unethical has been well established for some time now.

It is tough to chose an agency, but some parts of the choice are NOT THAT HARD.  If you read multiple complaints against an agency, cross them off your list and move on.  If you are not old enough to discern between sour grapes and legitimate complaints, you are not old enough to adopt.

I have fairly lame internet skills and didn’t know anyone personally who had adopted from Ethiopia when I started my journey.  Within a few weeks of gathering data, I already knew at least a half dozen agencies that I could easily cross off my list.

I am sad for the children who are trapped in no-man’s-land.  But I am also happy to see some of the safeguards against corruption are working (at least in this case).  I do not know that much about this story, but it is clear that someone with authority took allegations seriously, researched them and ultimately put an unethical organization out of business (at least temporarily).

Crazy Thoughts

A few nights ago I had a strange dream.  Actually I have strange dreams almost every night (go figure), but I only plan to tell you about a specific one (hey, maybe I could start a second blog “The Strange Dreams of a Semi-Feral Mama).  SAG and I apparently hired a surrogate to carry a child for us.  The surrogate was a friend of my parents.  He was a man.  And, of course, he was in his 70’s.  He walked around with his shirt off and his balding head,  prominent nose and baby bump.  The thing I love about dreams – I was thinking about his nose, not his uterus.

I didn’t give the dream much thought except to laugh at the absurdity.  We are not considering having more children, let alone surrogacy.  But just now, because of what is happening with my friends over at God Will Add, and because of some other random comments I was reading on a different blog, I thought, what if that man represented God.  God as a surrogate, bringing us another child… hmmm…

Now is when I find out if my husband is still reading my blog….  Are you there, SAG?

Don’t worry, Honey, I am still an agnostic, and still totally overwhelmed happy with TWO children.




5 responses

10 02 2011

This made me laugh. And…creeped out. What a nice thing for an old man to do for you! You must have felt loved. I don’t know what the meaning of someone else’s nose in a dream would be. But apparently dreaming about nose hair, “… hints of rare tasks that you need to execute through unresolved willpower and character.” According to, “” a site I know nothing about and cannot recommend in any way. Unless you have nose hair issues.

Hmmm. Agnostic theist?

10 02 2011
Meg B

Oh what a creepy dream, I can just picture it…thanks for that. =) I echo your thoughts on BFAS, hopefully some really change for the good will be happening in Eth. I too am totally bewildered by people who choose these agencies, I just don’t get it. Maybe send PJ over to whip those un-thinking PAPs into shape?!

10 02 2011

I love reading your blog. You always make me laugh.

10 02 2011

Sam is into slapping and hitting. When I say something he doesn’t want to hear (primarily: time to go upstairs and have dinner, time to go to bed, time to take a bath, time to get dressed, ie: anything that interferes w/ what he’s doing at that moment in time) he will walk up and slap my leg, or slap my face if I’m holding him. I tell myself it’s just a phase, say “no slapping mommy” and put him in a time out. I ask him to say “sorry” before time out is over, but it’s usually a half-assed one on his part.
ugghh. It’s all I can to do NOT yell at him…

10 02 2011

Ha! I got a good laugh out of this one. I guess I’m strangely flattered my situation led you to dream/think of a balding shirtless old baby-bearing God man??? 🙂

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