Hey, Selfish People – Listen Up

28 02 2011

There are too many selfish people in the world and they are really getting on my nerves.

First, if you are sitting at a red light, pull up so you are within two feet of the bumper of the car in front of you.  There is NO reason to leave a full car’s length between two stopped vehicles, unless you live in a city that has a HIGH risk of carjacking and you might need to pull around the car in front of you.  But really carjacking is so 1995.  So just pull up.

Why do I care????  Because I am in my mini-van three cars behind you trying to get in the right-hand turn lane.  But I can’t, because that extra space you left FOR NO REASON has the line backed up an extra car length.  And, I can not afford to sit here idling in my mini-van thanks to Mr. Selfish himself, Moammar, I-can’t-remember-how-to-spell-my-own-last-name, Gadhafi.

Apparently it is mostly Moammar G’s fault that gas is so expensive.  Also, that groceries are so expensive.  And, by the way, he is KILLING HIS OWN PEOPLE.  That is both selfish and uncool.  Enough already, Moammar.

But really, a few years ago gas and groceries were even more outrageous and I could handle the increase then.  Why not now?  Because of all the selfish Wall Street and Banker Dudes.  Yes, I know that Wall Street is for traitors (and isn’t that really the perfect name for those people? Yes, I know traders, not traitors, but you get my point, eh?).  And I know the Banker Dudes don’t actually work on Wall Street, but you can bet that they all eat lunch together.  And they probably invite their Oil Company Exec friends (who are blaming Moammar, but they actually just like to kick a man when he is down.  Because they could have actually held gas prices if they wanted to.  But they need to do anything and everything to maintain their profit margins and bonus checks.  Why?  because they are SELFISH.)

Anyhow, back to me.  I can NOT sell my house because of those selfish aholes (oh, I really hate that expression – but isn’t it completely applicable?)  So, I can’t afford gas and I am stuck in traffic because some distracted driver WILL NOT MOVE FORWARD.

What can we do about it????

Well, you probably are not Gadhafi, and you are probably not a Big Shot Banker or Wall Street Dude, but you may be someone who doesn’t pull your car all the way forward.  And you can.  Just pull forward.  And then you can feel good about yourself and think, “I just did my part to make this a better world.”

This post is not a rant, it is an empowering suggestion from a good friend.  You are welcome.

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15 responses

28 02 2011
Shonda

ummmm, not to sound selfish … BUT, could your next post address driving slow in the left lane?

28 02 2011
Semi-Feral Mama

Well Shonda, I would but I can’t GET IN the left lane because people won’t pull forward at the light.

28 02 2011
christine

I love a snarky rant. I just do.

28 02 2011
Semi-Feral Mama

Christine, I also love a snarky rant – maybe I will post one soon. For now all I have is loving advice to make this world a better place.

28 02 2011
Tesi

Mmm I love you for this. And I agree with Shonda. And to be clear, I’m never that person. If anything, I’m the person just a little tooclose to your bumper. Sorry.

1 03 2011
Cazadora

I’m pretty much too close to the bumper too all the time. Left over habituation derived Philly.

I think we should start calling him Bemoanmar Gadhafi.

My friend calls him Ding Dong, which is fine by me.

1 03 2011
leigh

I want to know when you got the tape out of my car and transcribed it into this post?

1 03 2011
Wendy

I so totally get you! I love this! I have similar issues with people at the drive through window at McDonalds. Plus, they don’t know how to order. This is surely MG’s fault.

1 03 2011
Semi-Feral Mama

Oh Wendy, I could write an entire post on the proper way to order at a drive through window. My husband is afraid to order with me in the car because I always tell him he does it wrong (but only because I love him and I want to help him improve.)

1 03 2011
claudia

K, you have SO much love to give. I’m just feeling the world-improving LOVE washing right off this post and across the whole world. Ahhhhh. Bathing in it right now.

1 03 2011
Sherryl

Nicely put! I have a similar “opinion” regarding tourists walking around NYC — When you need to suddenly stop to talk, look at a map, take a picture, etc. – pull off to the side!!! Then I won’t walk into you and give you a serious scowl that says “Don’t mess with me you tourist!”

1 03 2011
roadtosam

YES Shonda YES! The car length thingy bothers me but not nearly as much as the guy driving 1 mile below the speed limit in the far left lane. I mean, If I WANT to get a ticket for speeding, let me, it’s my business. But I can’t because I can’t speed because you are going 54 when I want to be going 67. Oh, and I can’t get a ticket because I have AWESOME FREAKIN SPEEDING KARMA and just don’t get pulled over and haven’t in about 20 years (and no I didn’t just jinx myself. I’m just awesome that way.) SO PULL OVER AND LET ME DRIVE FAST ALREADY!

1 03 2011
Meg B

What about people who turn realy sllllooooow? Drives me nuts when I am behind them. I bet Moammar is a slow turner.

1 03 2011
Jamie

I’m with you, Meg. The slow turners are immensely frustrating. I just want to push them along.

2 03 2011
underneaththestretchmarks

thank you for doing your part to bring peace and love to your corner of the world. it’s public service that you are doling out, one informative post at a time, semi.

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