Never Say Never

4 03 2011

Have you ever had a child who threw up every single thing she ingested in a 24 hour period including plain water and Childrens’ Tylenol?

Have you ever had to withhold ALL food from your child?

Have you ever had your child beg for food?

Beg for bread, again and again and again?

When PJ started feeling really ill yesterday, I imagined other parents who have truly sick children.  I know this is a virus.  I know she will be better in a matter of a few days.  Really sick children, now that is hell for a Mama.  And that is what I think about to give me strength when my kids are sick.

But when she started begging for food today and I had to tell her no, I started thinking about another group of Mamas.  Mamas whose babies cry for food.   Mamas who aren’t just withholding solids for 24 hours, but who have no solids to withhold.  And that did not make me feel strong.  It made me want to curl up in a ball under the covers with my daughter and not come out.

I recently read Say You Are One Of Them by Uwem Akpan.  I posted about it here.  The first story in this collection, An Ex-mas Feast, is about a family who encourages their young children to stave off hunger by sniffing glue.  I read it and I judged.  I read it and said, “I would never give my child drugs under any circumstances.”

After having my two-year-old lay on the floor and repeat the words, “bread, bread, bread” over and over again for an hour, I feel different.

Have you ever said you would never consider giving up a child for adoption under any circumstances?

Never say never.

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8 responses

5 03 2011
Lori

Brutal. Truth.

5 03 2011
Wendy

Whoa! Super, powerful post. And I so hope your little one is feeling better soon!

5 03 2011
claudia

Yeah, exactly. I had someone at the store recently say to me (when she found out my kids are adopted) ‘oh WOW, I just don’t understand how people could DOOOO that’ and I nearly beat her over the head with my baguette. I should have just made her read this post.

(Although of course I get judgemental about this too, on a bad day. Just in case it sounds like I’m judging store-woman’s judgement. Which I totally am).

5 03 2011
tamara b

It sucks to withhold food from a kid. BTDT. But we can’t fathom not having food to withhold. Sad.

6 03 2011
il panettiere...

Well said!

6 03 2011
Amanda

Mmmm. Yes, the day Ariam had her MRI I had to withhold food. I tried to not eat in solidarity and couldn’t even hold out. It was all around pure torture. I cannot imagine if day in and day out that were my life – being dizzy from hunger and watching my child reach her little hands for me asking for something to eat.

8 03 2011
Scooping it Up

i am feeling much too weepy with all these damn attachment posts running around to read this and keep my crap together.

whew.

11 03 2011
Melanie

Perfect post.

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