We’ll Take A Dozen

18 04 2011

At the end of last week SAG suggested we plan a little exploration trip for Sunday.  This was great on so many levels.  Weekends can be very tense around here.  Neither of us is happy with our rental house.  We don’t really have a social life.  The minor differences in our parenting approaches can get blown way out of proportion.  Getting out of the house to do anything other than just run errands is a welcome distraction.

And, after 11 months and two weeks of living here, it is time that we accept our fate and start to find things to appreciate about our new surroundings.

Despite getting a late start leaving the house, I didn’t get grumpy and controlling (of course that never happens, but I just wanted to be clear that it also did not happen this time.)  The random drive to a state park was a bit stressful, but we all survived.  Eventually we picked a trail and started down it.

PJ wanted to be in the backpack from the start, but Little Dude was excited to walk.  Always the adventurer, he and our dog Scolly forged ahead, sometimes on the trail, sometimes blazing their own trails.

Configuration One - I carry PJ, Little Dude walks.

The dogwood is in full bloom.  We are used to the pacific northwest’s Douglas fir and rhododendron combination.  The dogwood was a pleasant and beautiful surprise making this mixed species forest seem magical.  The pictures do not do it justice.

Justice lacking picture.

For more photos click on yesterday’s post – here.

Amidst all the beauty my children still acted like toddlers.  This meant up and down with the backpacks as we constantly readjusted and reconfigured based on their ability to convince us with whining and bad behavior every whim.

Jump aboard my little friends.

Configuration Two (hundred and five) I carry Little Dude.

After a great couple hours spent in the woods we were all completely relaxed and happy.  Well, Little Dude was relaxed and asleep, but I think it is safe to assume he was happy.

Before we got in the car we decided to put pull-ups on the kids and do a quick check for ticks.  We found one tiny tick cruising around on Little Dude’s pants.  We weren’t too freaked out, as we know there are LOTS of ticks here.  I guess we felt lucky even and I vowed to dress them in light colored clothing next time so the ticks would be even easier to spot.  We got in the car, the kids quickly fell asleep and we actually talked in a positive manner about returning to the same location in the future.

Flash forward to 11 pm, after I relaxed in the bath for 45 minutes with a good book, SAG was about to hop in the shower before climbing into bed.  He headed into the bathroom, then reemerged 90 seconds later to say, “I have already found five of THEM.”

I jumped up, stripping off my clothes and we both stood in the bright lights of the bathroom inspecting each others’ bodies.

As a reminder, I am 43-years-old.  I am over-weight.  I spent the last four months doing nothing but eating poorly and surviving my children’s antics.  Having my husband with his middle-age, need-to-get-closer-so-I-can-see-better eyes honing in on my middle section to search for teeny-tiny ticks was nothing short of humiliating romantic.

Ticks like heat, they like sweat.  They like the waistbands of child-carrier backpacks that are set on the ground over and over again.  Also, apparently they can live underwater in a hot bath for more than 45 minutes.

Between the two of us we brought home a dozen of the suckers, all happily gathered around our waistlines.  On SAG that means just below his still-flat-despite-not-doing-a-sit-up-in 20-years stomach.  On me that means just above my child-bearing stretch-marks.

Here is what I discovered about myself last night; the mortification I feel about the current state of my body trumps the repulsion of having a half-dozen blood sucking insects on my torso.  I completely blocked out how freaked out I was by the ticks, by focusing on how freaked out I was about SAG searching for the ticks.  I almost suggested we turn off the lights and continue the search by candlelight.

You would think I would be motivated to start an exercise program today.  One thing is for sure, I will not begin with a long run in the woods.

Things found in the woods in Oregon.

Things found in the woods in Missouri.

Not everyone has to agree with me – but I find one of these much scarier than the other.  (Although, apparently, not as scary as being naked in a brightly lit room.)



14 responses

18 04 2011

OMG, I loathe ticks. L-O-A-T-H-E them. Beware, the little bastards love the private area. I swear, you have to check between the butt cheeks, the little bits, everywhere you would really rather not check. Here in the Northeast, ticks are not only loathsome, but they also do us the favor of carrying really terrible diseases. They are a pain to get out once they’ve bit you too.

Your story, however, was hysterical.

18 04 2011

Ewww, ticks. The one (nice?) thing about S. coming home from Ethiopia with scabies is that I knew the little buggers were not visible to the naked eye. Otherwise I would have lost.my.mind constantly looking for them.

As for the actual searching for the ticks, well, I can tell you what would have happened in our house: my dear husband would have taken it as a perfect opportunity to get romantic. And me, feeling anything but romantic with the thought of ticks crawling all over me, would have responded with a resounding “hell no”. TMI?

18 04 2011
Semi-Feral Mama

Maybe I should retitle this post “Cause Ticks Are Sexy”

18 04 2011

I feel ya! But our poochy, stretchy bellies are a reasonable price to pay for the amazing (& exclusive) process of growing our babies. So enjoy your kids and SAG’s great bod and wear your stretches w/ pride 🙂 As for the ticks, wiki Uexkull’s tick ‘umwelt’.

18 04 2011
Meg B

I swear I am laughing with you, right?! After reading this I cannot wait to take our 2 kids hiking…=)

18 04 2011

Oh my gosh! That’s a ridiculous amount of ticks! This made me belly laugh. “I spent the last four months doing nothing but eating poorly and surviving my children’s antics.” I can totally relate.

18 04 2011

Ha ha ha. Hilarious! And hate ticks! All I can think of is some horrible country song something about “I’d like to check you for ticks.” Gross and gross

18 04 2011

Oooooh- we have ticks where we live also. They’re so gross. What’s grosser than a parasite? I’m a Lyme’s disease survivor BTW- but I still go out in the woods. There’s really no other choice. One good thing is that if you find the ticks within 24 hours they don’t transmit anything dangerous.

But onto the really important stuff: here’s to you feeling like a sexy mama and loving your body. For real. 🙂

18 04 2011
Sam's Mom

I too think ticks are about the most disgustingly scary things on the planet.

On to the nakedness. I have no issue being naked around Sam. At all. But I HATE it when I’m taking a bath w/ Sammy and Gregg walks in. Possible least sexy moment of all time? When I had my lap chole and Gregg had to change the bandages on my 9 incisions (yup…loads of endo made it near impossible for them to get in there) and one of the bandages required me actually shifting my tummy fat…so incredibly gross. Funny enough, it grossed me out more that Gregg saw this than that it existed in the first place.

18 04 2011
il panettiere...

HAH! I can so relate. I think I would rather have ticks on me than my beloved searching my nether regions for them. (How f-ed up is that anyway?).


18 04 2011
il panettiere...

But I agree with Mindy… Let us relish in our sexiness.

18 04 2011
tamara b

How can I be so grossed out (I hate ticks) and laugh so hard all at the same time. Only with your antics my friend. I had to read it outloud to Ryan. His free advice (cause he’s not the type of DVM you’ve named before) says to watch out for nymphs. But my two cents is that he’s just wanting to help SAG get another look 🙂 Happy [tick] hunting my dear…

19 04 2011

Okay, I keep looking away out of horror (TICKS!) but then looking back because it’s making me laugh.

And then getting grossed out again. Never, ever have I seen ticks and romance together before. Thank you for doing that to my brain.

19 04 2011

Horrifying. And one of the many reasons I prefer sitting my fat ass on the couch, watching the tube or reading a book. No one ever got ticks doing that. Pesky heart disease? Sure. But that looks a lot prettier than blood sucking Lyme machines.

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