Bite Size Bitterness

24 05 2011

I am eating cookies and drinking Bud1ight from a can (in bed) as I type this.

My laptop with the 12-month warranty died. We owned it for 12 months and three weeks.

I once read a comment on a blog that living with a toddler is like living with a drunk – brilliant! I would like to take this idea one or two steps further. Living with a 1-year-old is like living with a drunk. Living with a 2-year-old is like living with a victim of PTSD with anger management issues. Living with a 3-year-old is like living with someone who has PMS or possibly PMDD (medical jargon for wicked-bad PMS).

I wrote a really bad poem in my head about all the emotional issues going on in my family. I love you all too much to inflict it upon you.

The five robin’s eggs from my last post hatched. They are the most prehistoric, ugly-ass life forms I have ever seen. PJ keeps looking at the picture of them on my iPhone and saying, “Look, they’re sooo cute!” I cannot figure out how to get the picture into this post. That’s okay, it isn’t for the faint of heart.

I just finished reading “The Opposite of Fate, Memoires of a Writing Life” by Amy Tan. I could write four or five separate posts just about this book: racial stereotypes, evaluation of literature, parenting, fate/faith. Brilliant. And now because of Amy (Ms. Tan and I are on a first name basis these days) I am going to read “Jane Eyre” which I don’t think I have ever read. That is assuming I am not attacked by someone with PTSD or PMS.

Tomorrow, if I can just be 50% as good of a mother as I thought I was going to be before I had two children, I will be being 1,000 times better mother than I was this afternoon.

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7 responses

24 05 2011
shannoncl

OMG! So glad you wrote this cause I was thinking of all the self hating things I could’ve written about my parenting today. We stayed home all day until 5:30. The only goal was for me to not yell like a maniac. I failed. I suck. I’m glad tomorrow is a do over day and i’m not alone in this space. You rock

25 05 2011
christine

I can’t stand the sound of my own voice, talking to my kid the way I do sometimes. But then, right now, he keeps kicking me and nudging his elbows into my arm which already has a big bruise on it from doing stuff on the damn chicken coop. He’s nudging and kicking because he’s cold and trying to use me as a (huge, heavy) blanket because he refuses to put on clothes in the morning, he likes to lay around in his underwear (like some other male I know in this house, not naming any names). Wait. I can still talk a little more nicely, for cripes sake. Hope you are holding out okay with the storms.

25 05 2011
Shonda

Sorry your day sucked friend! I personally think living with a toddler is like living with someone on crack! And I think living with two toddlers sometimes makes ME act like someone on crack.

Here’s hoping for 50% for you today. I agree with you on that goal. Sometimes at the end of the day I think “who was the yelling lady I swore I would never be?”

25 05 2011
claudia

Eh. If you find that 50%, can I have 10% of it? I’d still be doing better than I am now.

Love the image of you sitting up in bed drinking bud light. When, when when are we going to get a reality TV show about your life?

25 05 2011
leigh

Eating cookies and drinking Bud Lite? My opinion of you just plummeted.

And by the way, you’re fired as my editor. I’m not even on your blog roll. I’m wounded.

25 05 2011
Semi-Feral Mama

Your opinion of me could not be lower than my opinion of myself when I wrote the post. My blog won’t let me have a real blogroll so that is actually about half of what I want to have there. Don’t anticipate changing it until I have a real computer and not just a phone.

27 05 2011
Julie

Yes, I’d like to see the reality show too.

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