The Enabling Violation and the Imaginary Domain

26 10 2011

I think I found this interesting.  Interesting enough to read a few times just to see if I understand it.  Maybe you will find it interesting too.




4 responses

26 10 2011
Sam's Mom

Thanks for this link Semi-Feral. I truly that the author, almost 20 years after bringing her baby home, is still struggling with the miriad of questions surrounding adoption. I remain of the opinion that in an ideal world a child would stay in a stable situation with birth/first family, but the reality is that so many children across the globe will and in fact DO grow up in orphanages or (in the US) bouncing around from foster home to foster home. I remain of the opinion that NO CHILD should grow up in an institution or unstable environment (speaking of foster homes.) ALL children should grow up w/ a mom, or a dad or mom & dad or mom & grandma or mom & mom, etc. etc. ALL children should grow up in a loving environment. Did we ripe Sammy away from his birth country and culture? I’d like to think we are capable enough to find ways to incorporate both Ethiopian culture and Ethiopians in his life. We are lucky to live in a city with a large Ethiopian population that is very supportive of US/Ethiopian adoption.
The thought that biology is the only “true” way to make a family is offensive … I cannot imagine loving Sammy more if he was born of my womb. I’m pleased this author combated that “theory.”

Sorry I could write a book on this. I should stop hijacking your posts and maybe write a post myself.

26 10 2011

Interesting? That’s an understatement. I am in love with this article. It should be mandatory reading for any adoptive parent.

27 10 2011
The adopted ones

The entire act of adoption is a trauma – who better to say that than a well known respected adult adoptee, who also made it okay for other adoptees to search.

As to knowing your biology – unless you have never known your biology – any family member – then at best you can only try to understand and realize it won’t mirror the reality that biology is important and should not be dismissed – the lack of innate knowledge of the core of yourself is hard to deal with, the paths your ancestors walked – and everything in between.

I’m tired today and this is where my stroke deficits come forward so I may have missed what she was getting at, but I just wanted to point out that as adoptees we have two families – we have to multi-task / combine our two realities vs those with only one family. Not impossible to do, just takes a bit more work to incorporate into our reality two different families into our one family.

3 11 2011

I’m with Melanie. Here are a couple more (not the same league) that have piqued my ponderances lately:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: