Holidays often make me feel guilty and put me in a funk.
Spending time with my family (of origin) often makes me feel guilty and puts me in a funk.
Being sick often makes me feel guilty and puts me in a funk.
This past weekend I was with my family for the holidays and I was sick. The perfect Christmas storm – bah humbug.
The clouds should be parting. I am no longer with my family and the major holiday, for all intents and purposes, is over.
I am, however, still stupidly ill. My voice sounds like it is coming out of the top of my head. If it becomes any higher pitched I am sure only my dog will be able to hear me.
I think I am feeling better then I get out of bed and try to get something done – like vacuuming – or brushing my teeth – and I break out into a sweat. Then I try to talk and I break out in a squeak. Then I go back to bed where I wallow in my guilt, my funk and a mountain of used tissue.
My husband has been staying home in an effort to help combat the funk and the guilt and also to take care of the kids (see I am not the center of the Universe – I know that I still have kids). I feel guilty when my husband stays home to take care of the kids. It puts me in a funk.
I am in a funk so I feel guilty.
I feel guilty because I am in a funk.
If the chicken and the egg argument is all about which came first, the guilt and the funk conversation should be all about how to end the cycle.
If the guilt equaled the chicken and the funk equaled the egg, I would scramble the funk and eat it. As for the chicken, well, I would like to cut off its head and eat it too, but after 16 years of being a pescatarian that would make me feel guilty.