I Can’t Stop Haiku-ing

30 12 2011

I was recently challenged by The Lost Planetista, a REAL LIFE ARTIST, to create a Haiku.  I had to be reminded of exactly what a Haiku was.

Oh how I long to be the woman who curls up with a book of poetry, a cup of tea and a cat on my lap.  Instead I am the woman who hates tea, doesn’t have time to read because she is too busy changing the litter-boxes and honestly, if it is tougher than Shel Silverstein, she probably won’t understand it.

Still, I rose to the challenge and wrote some bad poetry.  Now, here is the strange thing – I am addicted.  I am thinking in pentameters.  I can’t stop counting syllables.

Five – Seven – Five

Five – Seven – Five

“Wait a second, Honey, Mommy is concentrating.”

“Con-cen-trate-ing – Four, it doesn’t fit.”

So, I am issuing a challenge.  Write a Haiku, about your kids, your adoption, your New Year’s resolution, your rude neighbors.  Anything – write a Haiku about anything.

Post it here.

There will be a prize (randomly drawn because if I can’t WRITE poetry, I certainly can’t JUDGE poetry).  But I must receive at least 20 submissions (because I am the Groupon of my own blogging world).

I would love it if you would invite others to participate.  I will keep the contest open until Melkam Genna – Ethiopian Christmas, which is celebrated on Saturday, January 7th.

The prize will be a new, hard-cover edition of “This Is A Soul:  The Mission of Rick Hodes” by Marilyn Berger.  This book is life-changing.  It is sooooo good, but your poetry does not have to be.

Did I mention the Haikus don’t have to be good?

To show you just how bad they can be, here are two examples of my brain on Haiku.

December 30, 3 am

By day a small child

By night a restless, snorting

Water Buffalo

Reminder To Self

Still so very young

Stretching her mind, her skills, my

Patience, She is Three

My first blogging contest – and it is poetry.  I think 2012 is looking awesome already.




42 responses

30 12 2011

I see a challenge
Stop and hear the poetry
“Mama, I need help!”

30 12 2011

Barrenness surrounds
The brown winter is lacking
All I want is snow!

P.S. I love haiku! I can’t wait to follow everyone’s creations. 🙂

30 12 2011
Captain Murdock

When I first read this, I thought it said ha-chu-ing (aka, sneezing) and I thought I was in store for more minute details about your upper respiratory ailments 🙂

30 12 2011

So much to say, ask…
Tie-dye! Cracker origins?
Lovely sentiments.

(Not an efficient means of communication. I love PJ’s shirt (and Little Dude’s). The English crackers on the plates… did they have a nice resounding pop? Ours were duds. I thought your Haiku’s were lovely. Did ya’ know craigslist has a haiku community section? A testament to their addictiveness.)

3 01 2012
Semi-Feral Mama

My Dad’s best friend is British – so we always have crackers at Christmas even though we rarely celebrate with him anymore. This years’ kind of sucked. The pully-thingy was glued too tight to the side. By the time we got those unstuck half of them ripped. Then, instead of having toys, they had candy…. Little Dude is a candy addict. We did wear the hats. And, this years’ had the “Personality fish” which are always a hit.
Do we ever take a picture that doesn’t feature your beautiful tie-dye? Rarely. We get compliments on it every time we wear it.

30 12 2011

Twenty Eleven
Suck dog doo and cat poo too
Next year we’ll try blue.

I think I should get a prize for the worse one. I tried to come up with one for the Planetista. SOmething around- Goats are better together…. and then that’s all I came up with. Dang.

30 12 2011

Oh Friday night late
Weighted shoulders releasing –
Please Saturday, sun

30 12 2011

Unwanted roommate,
Why bacon, sooooo much bacon?
My house smells like grease.

By way of explanation: my homeless cousin is staying with me and cooks bacon 3 times a day, miminum. It’s killing me.

31 12 2011

is piper’s hair short?
looks shorter than previous pics.
both nostrils are clear.

31 12 2011

Corvallis last night.
Played games. Great food. Alcohol.
And why weren’t you there?

31 12 2011

Clocks turned back 3 hours
make New Years child-friendlier.
Who needs firecrackers?

31 12 2011

Albany last night.
Jamie was in Corvallis.
You should have been there.

31 12 2011

American Dream.
Not eaten in ten long months.
Ate some last night. Yum.

31 12 2011

i should be in bed
but wanted to wish you, dear
a happy new year

1 01 2012

I love my chickens
Why am I getting a pup?
What a fool am I

1 01 2012

Is Tammy allowed
To write more than one haiku
Or is that cheating

1 01 2012

Jamie is jealous
Because I can write wicked
haikus. I love cats.

3 01 2012

illness all around
when it subsides, I know not
they’re better, I’m sick

3 01 2012

Called out in email
kick in the ass I needed
first try sucks big balls

3 01 2012


3 01 2012

At risk of Jamie
and her wrath, second time will
win me Rick’s great book.

3 01 2012

SF mama lit
haiku fire under my
ass. God help us all.

3 01 2012
Semi-Feral Mama

Isn’t it addicting???? I was trying to figure out if I could do one with the names of your kids. Then I thought if I tried who would feed my children tonight and put them to bed as I struggled with Haiku? But I really think you should try it.

4 01 2012

This long deer season,
Engulfing my dear husband,
Come too soon, I shoot

4 01 2012

Sore Throat. Achey. Ill.
First day back to work. Today.
I feel like dog shit.

4 01 2012
Scooping it up

Five beats, in English at least
calling, calling me

the boy who cried wolf
how many screams ’til i’m numb
this time, i still run

jammies on, lights turned off
a little voice beseeching
mama, i’m hungry

crawling through tunnel
a hint of light bedtime looms
couch and ice cream wait

take that Semi.

4 01 2012
tamara b

What is a hai-ku
Not sure that I know. Do you?
Is it an ah-choo?

5 01 2012
Kim Williams

SF Mama– just found your blog. We brought home our Ethiopian boy last February. I love writing haiku’s about him! I will gather and post.

Kim in Alaska

5 01 2012

Kim in Alaska! Not too many Alaskan Ethiopians, would love to connect!

5 01 2012
Semi-Feral Mama

Um, Anne, I believe you should have asked that question in a 5-7-5 pentameter.

5 01 2012

Kim in Alaska
few Alaskan Habeshas
would love to connect!

5 01 2012
Semi-Feral Mama

Kim, glad you are here
Can’t wait to read your Haiku
And get to know you

Ah – happiness – a Haiku with a message. Kim, you have made me so very happy.

5 01 2012

Tottering footsteps
Exploring the beautiful
World awaits… or looms

5 01 2012

I am so thankful
These spun words will not be judged
For my way with words

For, in other words
I am so sucking at this
Yay for randomness

5 01 2012
Captain Murdock

Pathetic begging?

does this count me in
i really desire this book
save me some money

5 01 2012
Captain Murdock

Really really pathic begging?

talk like a robot
i feel like an idiot
but i want that book

6 01 2012

Wish that I could lose
This mother of all headaches
Three days now. Be Gone.

(Sorry, that’s all I can think about!)

6 01 2012

Write you must say I
The force is with me say I
Or so says Yoda

(that was inspired by Manny and his love for Origami Yoda, but also inspired by book lust)

6 01 2012

My boys use it against me.
I hate it so much.

6 01 2012

Wait, wait, I have another one, this is inspired by my hatred of all things technological, in case you were living under a rock and did not know about it.

Smartphones. G.P.S.
They make me feel stupid.
My boys laugh so hard.

6 01 2012

Ok, I just noticed that maybe my first haiku gets disqualified because the first line is only a 4 and not a 5. So sue me. I suck a haiku-ing.

I need to change it. Do you allow editing?

Can I change it to:

Technology. Ew.

7 01 2012
tamara b

love shonda’s pathetic begging.

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