The Ultimate Challenge

8 03 2012

Just in case this picture is not clear to you.  The item on the far right – that is a scale.  The item on the far left – a box of crack – fattening, crack – once-a-year-because-if-you-could-always-have-them-you-would-die-of-an-overdose crack.  Also known as Girl Scout Cookies.

For those of you who didn’t grow up in the U.S. or who eat healthy or some other silly thing like that here is a close-up of the box.

First off, see the young girls of many colors playing a sport together?  How healthy.  How wonderful.  I can feel the world getting better as I type.  Buying these cookies means I support these girls.  And look at them.  They are healthy.  They are playing a sport.  And I believe it is safe to assume they eat these cookies.

By eating these cookies I am making the world a better place.  And they can’t be bad for me.  Really, look at those girls.

Oh, SNAP.

So, every year I buy a box or six of crack cookies.  And despite promises to myself to savor them, I usually eat them in three or less sittings fairly quickly.  This year, however, I am officially on a diet.  Something I have not actually tried in more than 25 years.  But I can’t let the G. Scouts down – they are counting on me.  So this weekend I bought two boxes.  One box for the family to share which I annihilated in a couple of day.  The second box, I have big plans for.

I am going to eat one cookie, and one cookie ONLY, for the next 15 days.

If you hate blogs about food, I will probably post about something else at some point in the next two weeks, but don’t count on it.

If you like stories about a triumph of will power against over-whelming odds or you just like to see me suffer stay tuned, because this is about to get interesting.

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10 responses

9 03 2012
tammy

wanna know something bad? there are girl scout cookies at my work ALL YEAR LONG. i can’t get away from them. the girl scouts donate a shit ton for us to snack on at all times.

9 03 2012
Lauren

Freeze ’em in 2-packs. Frozen cookies are too hard to bite.
Personally I’m a sucker for the mint thins. Sadly, they can be eaten frozen.
Oh, and if you eat your daily crack right after a workout, your body might just be running hot enough to burn it right then and there. (No joke)

12 03 2012
Semi-Feral Mama

We always froze the thin mints when I was growing up. Yum.

9 03 2012
motherparadox

I wanted to tell you, I woke up this morning thinking about this, that I am really impressed with your workout plan/weight loss. What’s weird is how I will order them, boxes of them, and when they come, I am always like why did I do this? Why?! (and I am very annoyed that boy scouts do not have to go around peddling cookies like the girl scouts do.)

9 03 2012
leigh

I heard an interview with a journalist about the neurology of habits and how to break them. It’s all about identifying cues and rewards. His book is The Power of Habit and his name is Charles Duhigg. You should check it out.

I am not paid for this. Not even in GS cookies.

9 03 2012
Tesi

I do love girl scout cookies. But i seriously hate that the cookies is what identifies the girl scouts. really? cookies? not any of the (maybe?) fabulous programs they offer (i don’t know what actually goes on in girl scout meetings, i only know of the cookies). no one sees a problem with this?

that was a super weird rant on your blog, i apologize. but seriously. just cookies? 😉

good luck. avoid the PB patties at all cost. they ARE like crack.

11 03 2012
Jamie

I am in need of an update. How goes the cookie-ing?

12 03 2012
Semi-Feral Mama

I am keeping track of all eventful cookie eating. So far only one a day. I can tell you the 5 second rule applies to cookies, even if they are on the disgusting part of the garage floor where we keep the garbage and recycling.

12 03 2012
Melanie

I bought 11 boxes. ELEVEN. And I’ve been on Weight Watchers since Jan. mostly it had to do with supporting them for supporting trans girls. That’s the line I tell myself (and Ben).

12 03 2012
Semi-Feral Mama

You know you could probably have just made a donation on-line with a note saying specifically why you gave. Unless you intentionally sought out the trans girls to buy from in which case I can see why you need all those cookies in your house.

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