Edit #2: The original post has been fully removed. Those of us concerned about ethics have been by-and-large lumped together as instruments of Satan and anti-adoption. The blog in question is not one I am interested in reading. I hope the child ends up in a safe and loving home.
I also hope those of us concerned about ethics will continue to find ways, both big and small to raise our voices, to work together to let people, agencies, governments know that all kids matter and that most adoptive families stand beside first families. We understand the world is not necessarily a kind, fair or easy place. We understand that not every home is a worthy home. But we know that cutting corners in an adoption process is never acceptable.
EDIT: I talked SAG into reading my post. Which meant talking him into reading the offending post. Guess what? They have removed SOME of the offensive language. The grandmother no longer has the title (again and again) of “Grandmother from the Slums.” I am sure we didn’t convince them that they are wrong – but we may have taught them about writing in a more pc manner.
Today an unnerving “adoption” post was brought to my attention by The Scooper.
I took a minute to check out the blog she referred me to and was immediately overwhelmed.
When I read the comments there was only ONE that said, “Hey, wait a minute. Please, think about what you are doing.” I was proud to see that comment was posted by my friend, Meg. She is an adoptive mother of one from Ethiopia and just this week got her positive ruling from the courts in Uganda so that she can bring home her second son. (Since I first read the comments, other comments with the same tone have been posted – and promptly removed.)
There is so much that can be said about this
black-mail you into giving up your baby “adoption” post. And others will say it better than I. For example, you can read this.
But I have FOUR THOUGHTS that I must get out.
1) If having more money than someone means you will be a better parent than them, I should give my kids to Par1s H1lton. I am SURE if Paris saw my home she could comfortably call me, “the grandmother from the slums.” If the criteria for parenthood is not just money but also religion and experience with many children, I guess Little Dude and PJ will be going to live with Kate G0sslin.
2) Things are really bad in northern Uganda. Bad enough that I might do something unethical to “save” a child from there if that child was clearly at risk. But the blog A Place Called Simplicity has condescension written all over it. From the opening paragraph describing why she blogs to the disgusting, judgmental, possibly racist and incredibly depressing way this woman keeps describing the grandmother “from the slums.”
3) If you really want something, you can sit around and think deeply about it. You can even add some religious words to your deep thoughts and aim that at your deity. When you are done you might still want that same thing. You might want it even more. You might have come up with a creative plan for getting it. Believing that this proves GOD agrees with you is, at best, egotistical. At worst, it is a little crazy. People have been doing unethical, evil, violent things in the name of GOD since time began. Every single time, they have believed GOD agreed with them.
4) I have not found many opportunities to address the unethical things that happen in international “adoption.” Here is a situation where it was easy. I wrote a respectful comment on the blog expressing my concerns and asking the blogger to pray with an open heart about her actions. My comment was eventually removed. The blogger is now reviewing all comments before they post. Doesn’t matter to me. I think the more heartfelt, comments she gets from the world saying, “Wait a minute. You might want to rethink your approach” the more chance there is that she WILL actually rethink her actions.
I hope you will join me in telling her that the actions she is taking are unacceptable.
Now, I have to go talk to my husband. We need to make a plan about where we will hide the children should Paris or Kate ever show up.